Bye-Bye, Mama
by MetaLucario
Summary: A view into the mind of the dragonborn's insanity as she sits trying to balance the weight of the world, and her own emotions towards the person she despises most. Dark, creepy, and very messed up.- I don't know where my mind was... but Delphine was dead, my happiness should return, so why was this horrid emptiness still consuming me. I can't shake it. Why am I such a monster?-


A/N: well, not the ending for CONW, but this is the first inspiration I've had for skyrim in months. I've been busy typing bleach fanfiction, and since its such a controversial and complex anime with amazing character dynamics, I've improved a good deal. Still on about the whole siding with the villain thing though, so its merely a different version of my same old style.

I got the idea after finally playing through the "season Unending" quest. I normally always start with the legion, and have never had to do the negotiations before, but this was my little sister Aria's(Yeah, the author of Muriel and Odahviing. She forced me to beta for her…T.T ...It sucked) loadfile. It made me laugh. To the point of losing my last shred of dignity.

I own my OC, and tha's all(Bleach reference to hollow Ichigo's accent… XD)

I sat on the numbingly cold stone of the "chair" that Arngeir had designated for me, rubbing my aching forehead and praying to sithis for any kind of release. The incessant arguing, relentless fighting, and unnerving lack of "peace" at the so called "peace council" was more than enough for me to decide to slit my throat right there. The exact reason why Arngeir had wisely relieved me of my sharp weapons before the meeting. As it was, I was heavily debating testing how much pressure it would take to crush my skull under the mass of my daedric mace. That is, until I burst out in laughter. At Ulfric. Even after he expressed his disappointment towards my siding with the imperials. His comment about "Give me sheep's piss and tell me its mead." That had me laughing my ass off before them all. And they all turned to stare awkwardly at my mad hysterics.

"Sheep's piss… Hahahaha, that is the funniest thing I've heard all day." Clearly they all knew how insane I truly was by now. I laughed more. And more. I couldn't breathe. Arngeir had to restrain me and begin some sort of lecture on responsibility, in order to calm me down. He knew that his lectures bored me to sleep. It seemed he also knew about the skooma I had stashed in my sleeve. I was forced to give it up. With everyone still staring at me in that awkward way.

"Forget the truce for now. We need to have a talk about this. How long have you been addicted to this garbage?" That man's voice was making my headache return. I swear, I'd see to it that his severed head was delivered to Tullius on a pike.

"I don' 'ave ta answer tha', ya damn bastard!(1)" The effect of the narcotic slurred my words, and alleviated the dull pounding that echoed through my skull.

"Still, you are practicing illegal trade. I'm well aware that you are the only one who can solve this "dragon crisis." However we may have to detain yo-" Elenwen was cut off

"Like the void ya will! Maybe I'll jus' let him destroy everythin'! Let me 'ave my one release from these 'eadaches an' the contan' fear of wha' I may become. Ya don' understand. The only one 'oo did is dead 'cause I overestimated 'im! I 'ave nothin' worth fightin' for now! I don' wanna put up wuth this, ya will agree 'bout anythin'! He was righ', its pointless. I'm leavin'. Don' ever come lookin' for me. Trus' me, it'll only lead ta more disappointment; 'cause tha's all I am ta ya, a disappointment!" I stood up so fast that the thrice accursed stone chair fell with a silence shattering clang as it crashed to the unforgiving earth beneath it. I shoved Wulfgar into the wall when he tried to stop me, and actually shouted Delphine down the hallway before storming out of it past her. She called out to me, yelling my name, but all I did was turn and stare her dead in the eyes. She realised it then. The fact that everything was a facade. Inside, I was dead. Dead and empty.

Thats it.

Dead.

Empty.

Hollow.

Nothing.

Just like the endless void of tundra and mountain before me. I stared out into that abyss of cruel, taunting, empty white; glaring. Whether in self-disgust, or just generally anger at everything, I let out an ear-splitting screech and sprinted down the mountain. I didn't dtop for their desperately calling me back. I got back up when I fell. I tore through anything that got in my way. I would run. Run and not stop until it all went away, everything little that had been forced onto my fragile, brittle shoulders. I crashed through the sanctuary door, and threw myself at Cicero, trusting the ever loyal keeper to catch me in those ever present arms of his.

'We're going to be best friends for-ev-er~.' Echoed through my mind. I smiled up at my self-proclaimed best friend. He'd held true to those words already.

"Don't worry dear listener. Poor, dear Cicero is here. I'll protect you, and dance for you, and sing you a sweet lullaby-" He broke off to start singing. Typical Cicero; he always knew just what to do, I never even had to explain why I was a broken, sobbing mess of a child right now. He just held me in his tight embrace, lovingly- as a family should. I felt a hand, small and gentle on my head. I looked up into Babette's warm eyes. Despite her small size, she seemed quite motherly. Cicero beamed at me, then excitedly pulled a hesitant vampire-child into our little family embrace. Nazir simply nodded to me silently, and my favorite red-headed jester planted a simple, brotherly kiss on my cheek.

"We're always here for you, Kurohana(2). Don't worry, you don't have to carry the world entirely on your shoulders, we're here to lighten your burdens."

"T-thank you, Nazir. I'm so glad to have all of you here. " I stuttered out, now sobered, before resting against Cicero's chest. He continued his song, and his breathing evened. The steady in, out, in, out of the air from his lips, and the rhythmic fluxating of his chest was a great comfort.

"So this is where you run to. I knew you had followed a dark path, but to belong to such a family… I'm surprised that I'm actually shocked." That voice sounded saddened, grieving.

"Leave me alone. I hate you! Its all your fault that I have to live with knowing who i am! I hate you, Delphine! I hope you get eaten by one of them!" I yelled, still stuck on her being he one who forced this on my shoulders. I'm still a child! I'm not some hero, she should die.

"You don't really mean that, Kuro. Calm yourself. Can't you see why I told you not to listen to what "he" tells you? That thing turned you into this monster. You're only a child, you shouldn't have to be-" I slapped her in the face.

"Are you trying to rub salt into the wound?! I don't have to be what? Anything? A monster? A hero? someone with a life planned for me by some group of strangers who will never understand." The tears fell again.

"Whatever happened to the innocence and naivety of children? to that sweet oblivion of ignorance?"

"Your arrogance as an adult! You told me who I was! Its your fault." By now I was screaming, and the big wet globs of moisture streamed freely from my eyes. "Go die before I kill you myself!"

And with that, Babette wiped the pointless moisture from my cheeks, and Delphine walked out. What I missed where the tears streaming down her own face, and the softly spoken "I'm sorry" inaudible through my enraged tantrum. But when i found her hanging from a tree the next morning, with blood dribbling down her lifeless form from her loosely hanging chin, I lost it. Amidst her mangled, pale flesh were blue splotches from her lack of oxygen as she died. She had left a small note stating that she was sorry, and attached was another note for Esbern. It read simply,

Our fears were true, but not exactly how we expected.

I created the monster within her, all that hatred was because I

failed to foresee the consequences of telling her, I grew hasty in

my excitement at finding the dragonborn. And now, on my honor as a

blade I fulfilled the last wish that she shared with me. My death. I

only pray that its enough to atone for everything I put that small

child through. I failed, but now you have a chance to redeem my

faults. Please Esbern, take care of her like I couldn't. She needs

family, not bodyguards.

with love,

Delphine.

I laughed, but somewhere amidst this cruel erruption of cold-hearted cackled that spewed from my mouth was a small tear fed by fear. Fear of what I'd become, and what I had done to my own mother. But all I could think of was how pretty her face was, all broken and blue like that. So so pretty, and so delicate. It was a deserving death, worthy of someone so caring, yet so blind. I kissed her blue hued cheek.

"Bye-bye, mama." I cackled once more, giggling myself to sleep amidst the confused tears.

1- referencing Hollow Ichigo again.

2- means Black flower.


End file.
